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People who can't fill out a lottery ticket correctly.

I work part-time in a shop and you get 50 year old men who have obviously done the lottery hundreds of times, filling out their slip with ticks rather than solid marks in the boxes next to the numbers.

Not quite on par with the worlds most heinous crimes, but if people could make my life that bit easier that would be greeeeaaat.

I remember that from when I worked on kiosk at Asda... You then have to put all of the bastard numbers in manually because it'd be rude to tell the cunts to go and fill out another ticket. :hb:
 

epic73

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American commentators, especially swimming and football. An American finished 8th out of 8 a couple days ago in the swimming, and the commentators talked more about her than anyone else.
 
M

Martino Knockavelli

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We're really not a lot better over here (except by necessity - kind of have to spread the love a bit more when you don't have a star in every event). Some sort of editorial slant towards the local heroes is to be expected, and is basically fine, but open cheering in the commentary box is more or less the rule now, and it makes me feel a bit queasy. Especially since it comes accompanied with a boatload of derisive sneering at Russian medal factories and their tragic habit of conflating sporting glory at any cost with manifestations of national superiority.........
 

jimmy whistle

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Losing my bookmark. Despicable.

RIP bookmark. I'm sorry for your loss.

But i'm also intrigued and have a number of follow up questions.

What kind of bookmark was this?
Did it have some sentimental value? How did you come to acquire it?
How long had you been using it for?
Do you always use a bookmark?
How long does a given bookmark tend to last you before you lose it?
How will you go about replacing it? Do you have a stack of replacements in waiting? Will you need to go and procure a new one immediately? Or will you bide your time and wait for the perfect bookmark to come along? Where do you tend to acquire new bookmarks?
How did you come to lose it?
What do you look for in a bookmark? Materials - metal, paper/card, fabric? Do you prefer bookmarks with patterns, with pictures, with great_literary_quotes? What is the optimum size/shape? Do you look for a tassel?
When using your bookmark what is your chosen method? Do you envelope the bookmark entirely within the confines of the pages? Do you leave a l'il 'mark poking out the top?
Does your predilection for the humble bookmark make you resistant to, let's be honest the quite fanciful notion of, the electronic book?
When travelling with book, how do you avoid the bookmark simply slipping from betwixt the pages, as so often seems to happen to me?
Do you use more than one bookmark? Do you have a favourite bookmark?
What is your opinion of the practice of dog-earing?
If/When you find yourself sans bookmark, what is your alternative method of marking your place?

I mean these are just the questions that immediately spring to mind.

Of course this reads like sarcastic nonsense but i genuinely am interested. I think the bookmark has a peculiar quality of appearing to be a twee little anachronism despite being perfectly reasonable and functional (well, actually, i don't think they are really that functional at all, but in principle, they make perfect sense). And i guess i like that.

Personally i tend to use small scraps of toilet paper because if you tuck them in right near the spine they tend only rarely to get displaced.
 

SeasideKurt

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Seeing as we're moaning about planes, why do people grab their hand luggage and stand in the aisle like fools for 10-20 minutes while the mobile stairs connect to the exits?

Also, Passport scanners. Quicker using humans. Useless junk.

It's the utter retarded human race that causes these problems, what do you mean I have to take my fake rayband and sh1tty Miami Dolphins baseball cap off for the automatic passport machine. Wankers.
 

epic73

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Just heard a British commentator say "soccer".

EDIT: Three times in one match.
 
Last edited:

mistermagic

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RIP bookmark. I'm sorry for your loss.

But i'm also intrigued and have a number of follow up questions.

What kind of bookmark was this?
Did it have some sentimental value? How did you come to acquire it?
How long had you been using it for?
Do you always use a bookmark?
How long does a given bookmark tend to last you before you lose it?
How will you go about replacing it? Do you have a stack of replacements in waiting? Will you need to go and procure a new one immediately? Or will you bide your time and wait for the perfect bookmark to come along? Where do you tend to acquire new bookmarks?
How did you come to lose it?
What do you look for in a bookmark? Materials - metal, paper/card, fabric? Do you prefer bookmarks with patterns, with pictures, with great_literary_quotes? What is the optimum size/shape? Do you look for a tassel?
When using your bookmark what is your chosen method? Do you envelope the bookmark entirely within the confines of the pages? Do you leave a l'il 'mark poking out the top?
Does your predilection for the humble bookmark make you resistant to, let's be honest the quite fanciful notion of, the electronic book?
When travelling with book, how do you avoid the bookmark simply slipping from betwixt the pages, as so often seems to happen to me?
Do you use more than one bookmark? Do you have a favourite bookmark?
What is your opinion of the practice of dog-earing?
If/When you find yourself sans bookmark, what is your alternative method of marking your place?

I mean these are just the questions that immediately spring to mind.

Of course this reads like sarcastic nonsense but i genuinely am interested. I think the bookmark has a peculiar quality of appearing to be a twee little anachronism despite being perfectly reasonable and functional (well, actually, i don't think they are really that functional at all, but in principle, they make perfect sense). And i guess i like that.

Personally i tend to use small scraps of toilet paper because if you tuck them in right near the spine they tend only rarely to get displaced.
It was beautiful bookmark but I didn't have it for that long so I'm not that bothered. It's just that I'm reading a rather dense WWII book with very long chapters and bookmarks are quite useful when reading such literacy (and before you suggest it, no I am not folding the upper part of the page, that's just book abuse!).
The bookmark came along my Christmas present which was a biography of Winston Churchill by Boris Johnson. It was an alright book.
I will ask around if I can replace as soon as tomorrow.

And yes, bookmarks are very functional. The traditionalist in me makes me love them moreso since the arrival of dematerialized literature like the kindle.

I'll make sure to keep you updated on my search on my new bookmark. I hope my reply has you intrigued.
 

SALTIRE

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Team GB wins two gold medals in the afternoon; Skysports News top story : Paul Pogba suspended against Bournemouth. Jesus wept :ffs:
 

silkyman

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SSN often ignored sport that Sky doesn't cover. I remember a few years back they just completely blanked the FA Cup because they didn't have broadcast rights.
 

Hank

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Turned it on this afternoon and was greeted with a story about the new music they are going to play during the pre match handshakes. Surprised it wasn't on the yellow banner to be honest.
 

jimmy whistle

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It was beautiful bookmark but I didn't have it for that long so I'm not that bothered.
What made it beautiful? Give me some details man!

It's just that I'm reading a rather dense WWII book with very long chapters and bookmarks are quite useful when reading such literacy (and before you suggest it, no I am not folding the upper part of the page, that's just book abuse!).
The bookmark came along my Christmas present which was a biography of Winston Churchill by Boris Johnson. It was an alright book.
It sounds absolutely dreadful!

I will ask around if I can replace as soon as tomorrow.
Hang on, do you have some sort of black-market bookmark dealer?

And yes, bookmarks are very functional. The traditionalist in me makes me love them moreso since the arrival of dematerialized literature like the kindle.

I'll make sure to keep you updated on my search on my new bookmark. I hope my reply has you intrigued.
I think you should look for something appropriate to the book you are reading. Maybe a bookmark with a picture of Hitler shooting himself in the head, or a bored secondary school child.

I will be waiting patiently for pics.
 

eightiesrobin

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I have various bookmarks that my kids have made for me at school - laminated, badly-drawn, Fathers Day-type things. I never use them, I prefer old receipts and such.

Do people still use those leather bookmarks with the bottom end cut into fronds?
 

Stevencc

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I bought a new bookmark the other day, it's metal.
 

Pagnell

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Going to bed at nearly midnight knowing you need to be up at 5am for a 6-7 hour drive. With kids in the back.
 

mistermagic

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What made it beautiful? Give me some details man!


It sounds absolutely dreadful!


Hang on, do you have some sort of black-market bookmark dealer?


I think you should look for something appropriate to the book you are reading. Maybe a bookmark with a picture of Hitler shooting himself in the head, or a bored secondary school child.

I will be waiting patiently for pics.
It had a Japanese saying on it. Something about reading books. It was very spiritual. Plus it has flowers on it.

What does?

Maybe. Want me to get you some?

That would mean me getting a new bookmark for each book I read. That's a bit much. And my book is about the Warsaw rising in August 1944, Hitler plays very little part in it.
 
F

Freakyteeth

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Oh, is FT a pilot?

6clFHyI.gif
 

SALTIRE

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SSN often ignored sport that Sky doesn't cover. I remember a few years back they just completely blanked the FA Cup because they didn't have broadcast rights.
Yeah same with the Europa League, they blank it more often than not unless theres a story in there.
 

jimmy whistle

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What does?
The Johnson on Churchill book. Did he at any point compare Churchill presiding over the winning of war to that time he rugby tackled a man in a charity football match? Because he fucking should've.

I've got two regular bookmarks. One that Captain Scumbag gave me, and one made by the person I lost my virginity to. True story.

20160813_004627.jpg
Coincimentally enough i went on a little holiday to Paris just last week and saw that very painting in their louvre. It was hung in a square arrangement with what i presume were three other - let me google 'vegetable portraits' - Arcimboldo's, amidst an otherwise tedious hagiographical wankfest, which was a shame. If they'd just picked one it would have been an amusing anomaly and thrown into relief the sheer absurdity of concentrating so many similar and epic artworks into one space. As it was it was just a microcosm of the whole overwhleming art attack.

I did not photograph this encounter 'cause why would i take a picture of a painting what am i some kind of tourist plebeian?! I also went to that pompidou museum they have now and saw the hactual Magritte one with the boots that are feet. That was nice, didn't quite blow my dick off, but certainly got it hard. Didn't photograph it either. Please accept instead this photo of Rousseau's bones in a box.

ZQHaxIW.jpg


As for your bookmarks, reckon I want the full story here - bodily fluids, gaping orifices, post-coital tears etc. Was the bookmark what got you into the sack? Or was it a reward for sharing your flower? Does it still have that sex smell? And enough about your encounter with scumbum what's the backstory to the other bookmark?
 

mistermagic

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The Johnson on Churchill book. Did he at any point compare Churchill presiding over the winning of war to that time he rugby tackled a man in a charity football match? Because he fucking should've.
It was ok. Talked about the stupid things he did as well like South Africa.
 

slaphead

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It was ok. Talked about the stupid things he did as well like South Africa.

Next on the reading list. Tell me more of this Warsaw uprising book, author, any good etc. An area of the conflict I am sadly deficient in and need to read more.
 

mistermagic

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Next on the reading list. Tell me more of this Warsaw uprising book, author, any good etc. An area of the conflict I am sadly deficient in and need to read more.
Norman Davies. Warsaw '44. It's ok.
 

Stringy

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Not S. E. Cupp is it?

Nope, it's Kate Andrews. I saw her on the Big Questions one Sunday morning several months ago. She kept interrupting to make the same point and since I noticed her seems to have been popping up on the TV more and more.

She's been appearing on the BBC a lot recently and is really passionate about everything but she seems like she doesn't know what she's talking about. Here's her LinkedIn profile:

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/kate-andrews-1673a945
 

Magic

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Unnecessarily rude people.

(Fully expecting a "fuck off you dick" post to follow).
 

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