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Pro tip: fill your syringe with heroin rather than piss for an altogether more pleasant experience.

Forest chairman confirms no sell-on in the Burke deal. Any chairman who tweets like him is obviously a twat but that seems a negligently myopic piece of business.

Quite evocative of that awful kit we sported in the auto windscreens final against Stoke. I think it's shit in its own right, but anything remotely resembling that sartorial abortion should never even be drawn on a fag packet with dirty old crayons, much less take corporeal form stretched and...

: ( I have just bought some nice writing paper so at least my suicide note will be presentable. If you don't run the route anyway, whilst doing something needlessly provocative under the guise of free speech, then the terrorists have surely won.

Well this is a pleasing state of affairs.

The Johnson on Churchill book. Did he at any point compare Churchill presiding over the winning of war to that time he rugby tackled a man in a charity football match? Because he fucking should've. Coincimentally enough i went on a little holiday to Paris just last week and saw that very...

What made it beautiful? Give me some details man! It sounds absolutely dreadful! Hang on, do you have some sort of black-market bookmark dealer? I think you should look for something appropriate to the book you are reading. Maybe a bookmark with a picture of Hitler shooting himself in the...

RIP bookmark. I'm sorry for your loss. But i'm also intrigued and have a number of follow up questions. What kind of bookmark was this? Did it have some sentimental value? How did you come to acquire it? How long had you been using it for? Do you always use a bookmark? How long does a given...

I would have thought glass kits would have issues with 'breathability'. And shattering.

I do not disagree with this sentiment at all... ... but now i have no fucking idea what you are talking about anymore.

I really dislike it when a team's repertoire of kits includes both a red one and a blue one. Croatia excepted. I guess because they're the two most prevalent kit colours, and a few rivalries involve clashes of red and blue so it seems like a weird form of fence-sitting. But mostly I think part...

well that's a horribly rapey attempt at a smile

Yeah, and maybe our gracious monarch could even partner JT at the back. At least then, there would exist something, somewhere in the world, that is even more shit than that post. What if all of our players are passionate republicans!? What then!?

Nobody wants palace to win because pardew is a c*** + nobody wants watford to win because they are shit and will make for a boring final = nobody cares.

Don't worry I'm well aware what a bunch of petty twats and antagonists you all are. Except the monkey one. I like the monkey one. Although I do have my suspicions that its not a real monkey. (Edit: any Attenborough impression worth a lick must begin "Observe: ...")

I've just wasted somewhere in the region of forty five seconds looking for a sub-header that i now am suspicious doesn't exist. And that's to say nothing of the one? two? minutes spent typing this out. You win this one silkyman. You ninny.

For the love of god listen to the man. I don't know anyone who can finish to that pixelated japanese nonsense. Is that what you want!? A forum full of twitchy, blue-balled, marshmellow-cocked barbarians calling each other ninnies and dolts? Because that's what you're gonna get.

Not really, no. Quite expensive too, ~W5k a bottle. And not so easy to source unless there's a peanut festival going on. But, something interesting to try. I never saw any chesnakeolli. Sounds vile, but something i would like to put in my mouth regardless. Of the flavoured ones i think honey...

It is a bit mad that a second division side is able to name Bent, Weimann and Blackman, on the bench! Anyway, I am a bit out of the loop these days guys, which of our magnificant bastards looks to be headed for the door in the summer? And on a positive note, although we may have lost, none of...

That is outrageous. Maybe he goes the whole hog and lets Pellegrini go for the money shot? Although if that were the case you'd think he might have learned a thing or two about finishing.